I’ve actually “woken up” several times in my life. That’s the funny thing about awakening—it’s not a one-and-done experience. I’d have moments of clarity where I could see everything differently, only to get pulled right back into unconscious patterns like someone had hit the snooze button on my awareness.
Looking back, I was basically sleepwalking through my own life. And the scary part? I had no idea. That’s the thing about being on autopilot—you don’t realize you’re not actually driving.
When You’re Not Actually Thinking
Here’s the weird thing about being stuck in patterns—you’re not really consciously thinking at all. It’s all automatic, like you’re running on pre-installed software.
In my case, I was constantly putting others’ comfort and happiness above my own needs. I’d say yes when every cell in my body wanted to say no. I’d take on extra work while watching others relax. I’d stay in relationships long after I wanted to leave.
I don’t remember actively deciding to do any of this. I just remember feeling drained, unhappy, and completely out of control in my own life. Like I was a supporting character in my own story.
The Three Wake-Up Calls I Needed
My awakening didn’t come as one dramatic moment with angels singing. It took multiple painful situations and three major wake-up calls before I finally broke free.
The first one involved my neighbor. She asked to store some stuff in my garage “just for a week.” That week turned into a month. I kept politely asking when she’d get her things because I had to park my car in the driveway to make room for her stuff. She kept making excuses.
Then someone broke into my car and smashed the window. Five hundred dollars later, I was getting that window fixed while her stuff still sat in my garage. That was wake-up call number one.
Meanwhile, at work, I had become the dependable one—which really meant I was doing more than my share while others coasted. And in my personal life, I was stuck in a romantic relationship I desperately wanted to leave but somehow couldn’t.
The car window was the tipping point that got me thinking: “Why do I keep ending up in these situations where I’m sacrificing myself for others? Where did I go wrong here?”
The answer hit me: I had let the neighbor store her stuff because I felt bad for her. I kept politely asking instead of setting a firm boundary. At some point, I had to take responsibility for not standing up for myself. I should have said, “If you don’t get your stuff by Sunday, I’m putting it on the curb.”
But that wasn’t the end of my people-pleasing journey. It took two more major wake-up calls before I finally, truly broke free from the pattern of putting everyone else first.
Taking Responsibility for My Reality
The biggest shift in how I see the world now is understanding that I’m responsible for my reality. Every bit of it.
The moment I started breaking free from people-pleasing was the moment I stopped asking “Why does this keep happening to me?” and started asking “What am I doing that creates these situations?”
I realized I can choose to be a victim because of everything that’s happened to me, or I can choose to change my reality—because only I can change my life. Everything that happens, the good and the bad, is all created by how I choose to respond to what comes my way.
That’s a tough pill to swallow at first. It’s much easier to blame others. But it’s also incredibly empowering once you embrace it.
Seeing the Wisdom That Was Always There
It’s funny how I’d read all these profound quotes and ancient wisdom teachings for years, but none of them really penetrated my understanding until I started waking up.
Take “Know thyself” for example. I’d seen that phrase a thousand times, but it was just abstract philosophy until I actually had experiences that cracked me open enough to let that wisdom in.
Or how about all those successful people who emphasize the importance of your “circle of influence”? I used to think that was just motivational talk. Now I understand its profound truth—when you allow yourself to be around people who are stuck in patterns, they inevitably drag you into those patterns too.
Alan Watts kept talking about the importance of being in the present moment. I thought I understood what he meant, but I didn’t truly get it until I realized that I needed presence to intentionally create my life instead of running on autopilot.
It’s like all these teachings were seeds that couldn’t sprout until my awakening experiences tilled the soil.
How Fear Keeps Us Stuck
One of the biggest things I’ve noticed now is how much fear runs the world. Fear triggers that emotional response of scarcity that keeps us stuck in old patterns.
Ancient teachings describe fear as a lower vibration that keeps you in limited thinking. When you’re afraid to lose something—a relationship, approval, comfort—you’ll tolerate almost anything to avoid that loss.
I stayed in situations that drained me because I was afraid of conflict, of disappointing others, of being alone. Fear was the invisible prison guard keeping me locked in patterns that were slowly draining my life force.
The Loneliness of Growing
There was a period when I was growing so rapidly that I outgrew many of the people around me. Suddenly I wasn’t connecting with people in my life anymore because I was seeing reality so differently.
Some people I had to let go of because they were actively hindering my growth. Others I chose to keep in my life despite not being on the same wavelength, trusting that in time, we might align again.
The beautiful thing is that over time, many of these people started growing with me. Not because I tried to force them or “wake them up,” but because growth is contagious in its own quiet way.
What helped me through the lonely phases was loving and respecting myself enough to not want to lose the progress I’d made. I was willing to let people go if necessary, trusting that those meant to be in my life would either grow alongside me or find their way back when they were ready.
The Daily Practice of Staying Awake
Staying awake requires constant vigilance. It’s so easy to slip back into autopilot.
My daily routine has completely changed. When I wake up now, I don’t immediately reach for my phone to let the world’s noise flood in. Instead, I take time to write and reflect. I picture my day going amazingly well. I set alarms on my phone to remind me to check in with myself throughout the day.
The key is slowing down enough to recognize your thinking and emotions in real time. Only then can you catch yourself before you get triggered and fall back into old patterns. Only then can you become a conscious creator of your reality instead of a reactor to circumstances.
Finding the Gift in Every Challenge
One practice that’s changed everything for me is actively looking for the good and the lesson in every situation—especially the difficult ones.
Psychology teaches us that the more limited our thinking is, the more negative situations we’ll attract. We’ve got to train our minds to find the gift in all situations and all people.
When you realize that challenges are actually opportunities for growth—chances to recognize and break free from old patterns—everything shifts. You stop seeing yourself as a victim of circumstances and start seeing yourself as a student being offered exactly the lessons you need.
This ties into manifestation too. If I’m constantly thinking negative thoughts and expecting bad outcomes, that’s exactly what tends to show up. But when I approach life with gratitude and openness, looking for the lessons and gifts, my entire experience transforms.
Releasing the Need for Perfection and Control
One of the most limiting beliefs I’ve released is the need for everything to be perfect and under my control. These were programs installed in my childhood—be perfect so you don’t get criticized; control everything so you feel safe and certain.
But perfection is impossible, and control is largely an illusion. Releasing these twin prisons has given me so much freedom and peace.
Now I understand that imperfection is where growth happens. Uncertainty is where magic emerges. The mess is where real life is found.
The One Shift That Changed Everything
If I had to pinpoint the single most important shift that changed everything else, it would be this:
Realizing that I am creating my reality—sometimes unknowingly through unconscious patterns, but creating it nonetheless.
The ancient teaching of gratitude found across wisdom traditions worldwide holds the key. Not just being thankful for the obviously good things, but finding gratitude for this entire reality and everything that comes my way—even the challenges.
Every situation that comes my way is an opportunity to learn more about myself, to break free from more patterns, to become who I truly am beneath all the conditioning.
Everything changed when I realized I’m in control of how I perceive and respond to life. I may not control what happens, but I absolutely control what it means and what I do with it.
And that changes everything.
Where in your life might you be running on autopilot without realizing it?
Next time something frustrating happens, pause and ask yourself: “Where did I go wrong here?” Not in a blaming way, but with genuine curiosity about your part in creating the situation.
Glow for it 
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